Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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