I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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