Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
