I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
