You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
