so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
