he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
