i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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