if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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