break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
