we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
