I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
