So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
