I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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