he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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