Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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