This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
