i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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