there's paper in my vomit.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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