Sry I called you an 8
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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