Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
