So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
