As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
