So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
