i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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