You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
