what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
