let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
