so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
