Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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