the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
