Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
