he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
