I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
