Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
