And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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