u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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