i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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