Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
