We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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