why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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