i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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