We're like a lot better than the average bears
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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