she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
