We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
