Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
