Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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