Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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