I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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