I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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